Online Dating Service Advice for Guys

Ten years ago, if you told someone you had enrolled in an online dating service, you may have gotten a weird or pitying look. Today, hectic schedules have made it difficult to meet new people even once a week, much less several times. Like everything else in our lives, we’re starting to depend more on computers and the internet to make tasks easier. Using an online dating site, such as HaveWeMet.com, has become similar to using a matchmaker that finds dozens of women according to your specifications. This can be a fun process, but some people find it frustrating. Here are some things you need to know before plunging into the online dating pool.
Obviously, you will first be drawn to a profile by the picture that accompanies it. It is an old trick to put a younger picture on a profile, but now people are starting to use photo manipulation programs like Photoshop to make themselves look better. One piece of advice is to find the worst online picture of the person you are interested in, and assume that is the closest to their real looks. Keep in mind that people tell little white lies all the time in real life, and are more likely to do so online. Just like you, she is looking to put the best image of herself out there. Pictures are a good starting point, but remember that they may not be totally accurate. When you think about it, there really is no reason to lie about yourself online since you are hoping to meet the person in real life, but there are still a few people who are new to that concept.
If she tells you she is interested in animals, rock climbing, or art museums, see if she has pictures posted that show her involved in these activities. This adds credibility to her persona. If these pictures are not readily available on her profile, post one of yourself doing the same thing and she will most likely reciprocate by sending a picture back.
Next, readers have told us that nice girls wait for the guy to make the first move. You do not want to ignore women who contact you first, but women with desirable qualities are usually getting enough emails each day that they do not need to go out and find someone on their own. It is also important to carefully read a profile before you contact the person. The most interesting women are going to have attention-grabbing profiles that do not have the same information as everyone else. Guys tend to write the same types of profiles. Your profile, and her profile, should be fun to read and give you an insight into the personality rather than the generalities. In order to encompass all their qualities, people tend to summarize themselves until their information becomes generic.
When you respond to a profile, make the correspondence short and light. You will want to end with a question in order to encourage a response. Your conversation will begin online, so you must both move the conversation forward for communication to occur. With your first message, you are still a stranger, so avoid going on and on about how beautiful she is or how many interests you have in common as this can make her uncomfortable. Focus on one or two things you both like to do in the beginning, and move on from there.
Once you have established good communication and find that you have an online spark, you can begin discussing your first in-person meeting.
Tag: online dating advice
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21st Edition of the Carnival of Online Dating

Welcome to the January 18, 2012 edition of the Carnival of Online Dating! This is the twenty-first edition of the blog carnival, and we really appreciate those who have submitted their links for inclusion. Spread the word: The next Carnival of Online Dating will be February 1, 2012, so make sure to get your submissions in by 8:59pm PST/11:59pm EST Tuesday January 31st.

Donna Cullen presents 10 Love Lessons from Claude Monet posted at Top Dating Sites, saying, “Claude Monet was one of the forerunners of what would eventually become one of the most easily accessible artistic movements of the era. The influence that the work of the Impressionists had on every aspect of modern art that came after is indisputable.”Mary Edwards presents 10 Love Lessons From Dirty Harry posted at Best Dating Sites, saying, “Education in romance can come from the most unexpected places, and we don’t always recognize it until it’s too late. Who knew, for instance, that while we were watching Inspector Harry Callahan dispatch thugs with his .44 Magnum Smith & Wesson Model 29 revolver in those Dirty Harry films that we were in fact being schooled in the language of love? Don’t believe us?”Sam Rogers presents Life is a Stage – What’s Your Role? posted at Personal Hack, saying, “Me and a friend went to a night club here in Chicago last night. There was a line when we got there, so I approached the doorman, indicated that I was on the list (I did rsvp earlier) and was about to pull out my id…”Donna Cullen presents The 10 Reasons You’re No Romeo posted at Top Dating Sites, saying, “Romeo and Juliet. Those universal literary symbols of true romance for generations of young lovers since the mid-16th century. So how do you compare to young Montague, you ask?”Donna Cullen presents The 10 Reasons You’re No Juliet posted at Top Dating Sites, saying, “For centuries, Romeo and Juliet have been synonymous with love and passion. Comparisons are almost inevitable whenever we consider our own romantic fortunes. So, how does your love life stack up in comparison to our Shakespearean maiden, the young Capulet? Let’s break it down. Here are the ten reasons you’re no Juliet.”Stephanie Constantina presents How To Contact Women or Men Online for Dating posted at Single Dating, saying, “Tips on how best to contact women or men on the net.”Donna Cullen presents 10 Reasons NOT to Re-ignite an Old Flame posted at Top Dating Sites.Mary Edwards presents 10 Things a Kiss Giggle Could Mean posted at Best Dating Sites.Scott Valdez presents Turn The Drawbacks Of Online Dating To Advantages posted at The Click Magnet Dating Blog.Jonathan Weeks presents What’s the Scoop? posted at How To Make A Girl Like You.Donna Cullen presents 10 Literary Romances That Would Never Work posted at Top Dating Sites, saying, “Most people (at least most women) enjoy a good love story. We swoon at the romantic parts and cry during the heartbreaking parts all in nervous anticipation of a happy ending. There have been oh so many romantic novels written and read ever since pen has been put to paper.”Mary Edwards presents 10 Tips for Being Patient with a New Relationship posted at Best Dating Sites, saying, “For some of us, new relationships come with a sense of urgency. We’re eager to reach the next big milestone, especially as we get older. This same feeling of immediacy can cause us to push too hard or come on too strong, putting a strain on the fragile bonds formed in the early days.”Scott Valdez presents How To Attract Women Without Doing Anything posted at The Click Magnet Dating Blog.Persha Davis presents Letting Go After Being Dumped — Heartfelt Advice From Someone Who has Been There posted at Dumped Days, saying, “It’s sad to let go someone you love when you’re ready to say good-bye, but when you don’t have relationship closure…letting go can seem impossible! Here are several ways to let go of someone you love when it doesn’t seem like it’s time to say good-bye”Eva Forman presents Online Dating Safety from the Department of Homeland Security posted at Top Dating Sites.Hooker presents Mistakes Women Make – More On First Dates posted at Humans are Stoopid.

Be sure to tune in every 1st and 3rd Wednesdays for more! The next Carnival of Online Dating will be February 1st, 2012, so make sure to get your submissions in by 8:59pm PST/11:59pm EST Tuesday January 31st!

That concludes this edition. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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Sick Of Singlehood? Here's What You May Be Doing Wrong...

If singlehood had a Facebook profile, its relationship status would be “it's complicated.”

It's the ultimate love-hate relationship. Some people savor the single life, some people can't stand it. And regardless of which side of the singlehood debate you fall on, you've probably had at least a few experiences that made you seriously consider switching teams.

If you're the confirmed bachelor/bachelorette type, congratulations. Finding your perfect match is as easy as looking in the mirror. But if you fall into the unattached-and-unhappy-about-it category, life can seem a little more bleak. You're more than ready to find love, so why isn't love ready to find you?

You've had some bad relationships. You've dated some disappointing people. And there are ways to improve both of those things. But what you should really be focused on improving is yourself, because you're the common denominator in every dead-end relationship you've ever had. So what might you be doing wrong?

You're shallow. How long is your list of dealbreakers? How many of them actually matter? You don't need someone who's over 6 ft tall, or red-headed, or rich, or a lover of country music, or a 49ers fan. You need someone who makes you feel good. Focus on the things that create real compatibility, not superficial characteristics that aren't likely to stand the test of time.

You're too negative. Don't let your personal history get the better of you. It doesn't matter how bad your family life was or how many awful relationships you've been in. Your past belongs in the past. Approach new relationships with an open mind and an open heart and, above all, approach them with a positive attitude.

You're not honest about what you're looking for. If what you want is a relationship – serious, committed, and long-term – then be upfront about it right from the beginning. Don't hide your interest in a serious relationship because you think it will scare dates away. You will only end up wasting precious time dating people who don't share your relationship goals.

You're worried you're not good enough. Do you think the reason you haven't settled down yet is that you're just not good enough to be someone's partner? Well I have news for you: you've got it all wrong. Finding love starts with loving yourself. The most perfect person you could ever be is the person you already are. Discover what makes you amazing.

That's the bad news. But there's good news too: it's all fixable. You are the single thing on this planet that you have the unlimited capacity to change. Use it wisely, focus on transforming yourself into a positive, confident, goal-oriented dater, and the single life might be over faster than you think.

Tag: relationships single

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How Do I Meet Girls of My Own Age?

By Tim Phillips | December 30, 2010

While meeting girls itself is a wonderful experience and morale lifter, but meeting girls who are younger could well work in the opposite, sometimes.

Younger girls could be a mismatch
They might well sound immature and have a different approach to life than you have. In case you are a serious guy looking for some serious relationship it is advised you stay off the group as there is likelihood that younger girls well harbor childish notions on a man-woman relationship.

Under such circumstances looking for girls of your age will be ideal. And finding girls of your age should not be that great a difficulty, especially if you are in school, college or university, unless and until you are the shy type or overtly reserved or an introvert. The only other possibility of not finding girls of your age could be at work. There could be girls of your age but they might be already engaged and that is why you are unable to track the lady of equal age.

Where could you possibly find the girl you want?
Socializing could be the key because that gives many opportunities for you to meet same age group gals. You need to get out of the shell that you have built and look around for there is no chance that you will not find one. Meeting people, partying, sometimes even chatting online or looking for girls online can be a great option to find a girl of your age. There are many sites that will give access to girls of your age and there is more scope for you to kick off a conversation with them without any apprehensions and can build a meaningful friendship thereon.

Try contacting your old friends or classmates
There could be a chance you have not been in touch with old friends for a long time and here is a golden opportunity to catch up with them. Just think of the girls you had a crush on and were never able to disclose it to them, try to contact them, it could be pleasant surprise else move on there are many roses in the garden, you don’t have to sulk.

Or search you telephone diary you might find the number of the neighbourhood gal with whom you spent some good time during your teens. Taking positive steps and honestly searching for the girl of your age for sure will not let you down.

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Texting and E-mailing Affects on Relationships

By Tim Phillips | July 10, 2011

Relationships seem to become more and more complicated with all the new high-tech options available. It seems that communication with the person you are in a relationship with is less face to face and more technology as the years of texting and emailing continue to take over.

It seems that with the advancements of technology less and less people are actually interacting with each other face to face and are more likely to have longer conversations over text messaging and email messaging. This could be affecting many relationships causing them to be less likely to be successful as neither party are actually talking and having lack of communication.

This is not stating that text messaging and email messaging is a bad thing, but when you make it your main source of communication you’ll slowly discover that when you are with this person physically that there is not much to talk about. Technology has really been taking its toll on the world and it’s not affecting how people interact within their relationships.

When you feel the need to email or text message your partner all throughout the day and then see them in the evenings you may quickly notice that since you’ve told them everything that’s already happened throughout your day there is little to talk about in the evening.

Another thing that happens on regular occasions is the flack out dump of a person with the use of text messaging and emailing. People seem to use either of these to end things with a person instead of doing it verbally which seems to be a coward move for whoever is using this method of break up.

There are many affects that happen to a relationship due to texting and emailing and it seems to be almost impossible to avoid as the years continue. With the advancements of computers and mobile phones it seems that everyone is using them and everyone is always texting or emailing. Verbal communication seems to become more minimal then before and personal conversations are becoming more likely done with a text message or email.

Don’t find your relationship being centered around text messaging and email. It is nice to leave your partner a lovely little text message or email occasionally, but if you get in the habit of using it as your main source of communication you will never get to know each other on the personal level you should without the use of texting or emailing.

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Treat the Ones You Love Better Than Anyone Else in the World

Posted on 01/24/2010

Instead of taking for granted those with whom you are most familiar, pay them the most attention. You need to cherish and nurture them and think about them as much if not more than you think of yourself.

You need to constantly be on the alert for ways to improve their lives, ways to please them, and ways to make them happy. Go out of your way to do things you are sure they want and love not what you want or think they would want.

For example, let’s say you are passing a gift shop and notice a cobalt blue pen in the window. You know that cobalt blue is your friend’s favorite color, and you also know that she loves pens. Stop what you are doing and go out of your way to surprise her with this thoughtful gift.
A client of mine knew that his girlfriend loved the perfume from the spa at the Parc Monceau Hotel in Paris. The perfume wasn’t available anywhere else in the world. He made special arrangements to have several bottles shipped to her directly; it wasn’t her birthday or any holiday, he just wanted to show her that he cared about her enough to go out of his way to find the perfume and have it shipped from Paris.

It helped to cement their relationship and make them even closer. I know many women who have received marriage proposals from their husbands after they went out of their way to do something spectacular for them.

Pamper the people you love constantly. Cherish them and indulge them at all times, thereby making them feel as though they are the most important person in the world especially your world. Kiss them the way they want to be kissed, hold them the way they want to be held, and love them as they want to be loved.

Speak to them the way they want to be spoken to. By respecting their needs and putting them first, you can’t help seeing things from their viewpoint. The more you do for them, the more they will cherish and appreciate you, and the more they will do for you.

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After You Say No, It Is Rape

Posted on 01/11/2010

Many men’s definition of rape does not apply to their own behavior or that of their male friends. Some men, as well as women, honestly believe that men cannot control themselves when they are sexually aroused.

They believe the girl or the woman is responsible for both arousing and controlling the man. This is absolute rubbish. At any age, a man is perfectly able to control his sexual drive at any point, from first arousal to climax. But, the attitude that men are not responsible for their actions with women is not a new idea.

Many men young and old still have the fantasy that once they are aroused they have a right to have sex with a woman, regardless of her wants, desires, or needs.

Someone might say:
“If a woman gets in my Mercedes without wearing a bra, she’s asking for it!” Another man agreed, saying that any woman who goes up to a man’s apartment, or allows a man into her apartment, is saying she wants to have sex.

Such attitudes have been created and taught by fathers, grandfathers, and yes, even by mothers. Some women today still believe that it’s a woman’s job to control the man’s behavior, and that women just have to tolerate the assaults.

Rape is about power. Men rape to get power over women. These men often feel powerless in their lives, and so they look for a way to increase their sense of self worth by controlling and manipulating another “weaker” human being.

Of course, this is a flawed idea, and rape doesn’t give the rapist any lasting sense of power or self-worth, so he may continue to commit the crime until it becomes increasingly violent.

Let’s be clear about this point of control. A woman is not responsible for keeping a man in control of his own sexual responses. Each man is responsible for his own actions, and, no matter what a woman does, he has no right to any sexual contact with her against her will or without her knowledge.

Dating Rape is not just “he said; she said.” Rape is not just a misunderstanding or the result of a lack of communication. Rape is an act of choice to commit a crime and to forcibly obtain power over another individual through the means of sexual assault.

Dating Rape is not just a misunderstanding. Rape is a criminal act of choosing to overpower a woman and to have sexual intercourse with her without her consent or without her knowledge.

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