If singlehood had a Facebook profile, its relationship status would be “it's complicated.”
It's the ultimate love-hate relationship. Some people savor the single life, some people can't stand it. And regardless of which side of the singlehood debate you fall on, you've probably had at least a few experiences that made you seriously consider switching teams.
If you're the confirmed bachelor/bachelorette type, congratulations. Finding your perfect match is as easy as looking in the mirror. But if you fall into the unattached-and-unhappy-about-it category, life can seem a little more bleak. You're more than ready to find love, so why isn't love ready to find you?
You've had some bad relationships. You've dated some disappointing people. And there are ways to improve both of those things. But what you should really be focused on improving is yourself, because you're the common denominator in every dead-end relationship you've ever had. So what might you be doing wrong?
You're shallow. How long is your list of dealbreakers? How many of them actually matter? You don't need someone who's over 6 ft tall, or red-headed, or rich, or a lover of country music, or a 49ers fan. You need someone who makes you feel good. Focus on the things that create real compatibility, not superficial characteristics that aren't likely to stand the test of time.
You're too negative. Don't let your personal history get the better of you. It doesn't matter how bad your family life was or how many awful relationships you've been in. Your past belongs in the past. Approach new relationships with an open mind and an open heart and, above all, approach them with a positive attitude.
You're not honest about what you're looking for. If what you want is a relationship – serious, committed, and long-term – then be upfront about it right from the beginning. Don't hide your interest in a serious relationship because you think it will scare dates away. You will only end up wasting precious time dating people who don't share your relationship goals.
You're worried you're not good enough. Do you think the reason you haven't settled down yet is that you're just not good enough to be someone's partner? Well I have news for you: you've got it all wrong. Finding love starts with loving yourself. The most perfect person you could ever be is the person you already are. Discover what makes you amazing.
That's the bad news. But there's good news too: it's all fixable. You are the single thing on this planet that you have the unlimited capacity to change. Use it wisely, focus on transforming yourself into a positive, confident, goal-oriented dater, and the single life might be over faster than you think.
Tag: relationships single
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